Hands On Therapy

Since he was put on leave in October, Squee has been trying to find ways to curb boredom. On the one hand, he stays tired due to the medications he takes, but on the other hand he stays active chasing after our daughters. It's the down time, the hours of the day not spent busy or exhausted, that eat away at him. For the past couple of weeks, I have been gently introducing him to the world of Pinterest, because he still believes it's primarily for women. A few days ago, he discovered an entire wealth of paracord tutorials for bracelets, necklaces, pouches, and even animals. So, after a quick trip to the Army Surplus store that happens to have a nice selection of 550 paracord colors and an initial $10 investment, he's created a bracelet and necklace for our oldest daughter, a bracelet for me and one for himself.

This isn't the first thing he's undertaken to combat the nervous energy he always seems to possess despite the fact that he's often too tired to function. He also picks around on a guitar loaned to him by his stepdad, though he doesn't do it as often as he'd like because his down time usually coincides with naptime. He has the usual (or more common, I should say) coping mechanisms of Xbox Live video games and computer games, which get a bad reputation, but I really feel like anything in which he's keeping his hands busy is a plus, because it gives him something to focus his attention and energy on.

Often, I hear other veteran's wives who complain or are angry about the time their guys spend on their hobbies, the main focus being video games.  Honestly, I embrace the gamer culture. Squee was a video game enthusiast before his service, so it would make sense that he would go back to them afterwards. He sets his own limits on time and frequency but often asks me if I need him to do anything around the house before he begins playing. I don't hate video games, I consider it just another part of his therapy. While he's battling demons on screen, he's dealing with his own as well.

Sit back and consider for a moment, if you will, the empowerment of video games for veterans with PTSD. For veterans who are overwhelmed on a daily basis by the most common things, are frustrated at a system that doesn't honor them as it should, and who are receiving sub-par medical care to say the least. That is a LOT of frustration, regardless of who you are. The visualization of an on-screen 'enemy' that poses no physical threat to the veteran, only the inferred threat, can be a useful tool. Imagine each 'enemy' in a video game is an individual issue in your life, not just PTSD but those tiny, nit-picky, every day things. Like a car out of gas, a late fee on a bill, or an overflowing toilet that turns a decent day into a nuclear meltdown. Now, neutralize your enemy. And as soon as that enemy disappears offscreen, suddenly that burden across your shoulders seems a little lighter. For a moment, that problem is gone, and you focus your energy on the next problem. It might seem silly, especially at first, but it truly is empowering.

I hear you scoffing, I do. "Video games are silly and childish/ I don't see how playing war games helps at all/ You'll never catch me wasting time like that." I hear you, too. But, if you're unwilling to take a chance on a different kind of 'therapy', you'll never know if it works for your family or not. For us, video games, crafts, and music seem to be helping greatly. Best advice, help your veteran find their own path to healing, and remember that unconventional might just be what you both need.